Power of positive talk - by former president of India, Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

Power of positive talk – by former president of India, Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

·         But: Negates any words that are stated before it.

·         Try: Presupposes failure.

·         If: Presupposes that you may not.

·         Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..

·         Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.

·         Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

·         Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.

·         Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"

Likely result: Drops the ball

Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."

Likely result: Watches more television.

Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise:

Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

The Ant

The Ant

A Fable..

Or

May Be Not...

Every day, a small ant arrives at work very early and starts work immediately.She produces a lot and she was happy. The Chief, a lion, was surprised to see that the ant was working without supervision. He thought if the ant can produce so much without supervision, wouldn’t she produce even more if she had a supervisor!

So he recruited a cockroach who had extensive experience as supervisor and who was famous for writing excellent reports. The cockroach’s first decision was to set up a clocking in attendance system. He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports and …... he recruited a spider, who managed the archives and monitored all phone calls.

The lion was delighted with the cockroach's reports and asked him to produce graphs to describe production rates and to analyse trends, so that he could use them for presentations at

Board‘s meetings. So the cockroach had to buy a new computer and a laser printer and ...... recruited a fly to manage the IT department. The ant, who had once been so productive and relaxed, hated this new plethora of paperwork and meetings which used up most of her time…!The lion came to the conclusion that it was high time to nominate a person in charge of the department where the ant worked. The position was given to the cicada, whose first decision was to buy a carpet and an ergonomic chair for his office.

The new person in charge, the cicada, also needed a computer and a personal assistant ,who he brought from his previous department, to help him prepare a Work and Budget Control Strategic Optimisation Plan …

The Department where the ant works is now a sad place, where nobody laughs anymore and everybody has become upset...It was at that time that the cicada convinced the boss , the lion, of the absolute necessity to start a climatic study of the environment .

Having reviewed the charges for running the ant’s department , the lion found out that the production was much less than before.

So he recruited the owl , a prestigious and renowned consultant to carry out an audit and suggest solutions.

The owl spent three months in the department and came up with an enormous report , in several volumes,

that concluded :

“ The department is overstaffed ...”

Guess who the lion fires first?

The ant , of course, because she

“showed lack of motivation and had a negative attitude".

NB:

The characters in this fable are fictitious; any resemblance toreal people or facts within the Corporation is pure coincidence…

The End

E filing your income tax return

It's the time of year when we rush from here to there to file our income tax return. Indian Government, however, have made it so simple by introducing e filing of income tax return. One can visit http://incometaxindiaefiling.gov.in/ for the details on the same. The following image, published on the said site, is enough to show how simple it is. Gone are the days when one has to spend all his day to file his returns.

A survival from a miserable accident

I was working on my LT. suddenly power went off and inverter-cum-UPS started. One of my colleagues came to me stating machine of one of the rooms were not working. I Went to the inverter area with him to see what is the issue. Could not find anything. I switched the inverter off and switched it on again. And…….. a big blast. Could not understand what had happened. My colleague pulled me outside from there and asked if there is anything in my eyes? I answered yes, there seems. He took me to the wash basin and cleaned my eyes. After this, I asked him what happened as that area was still full of smoke. He informed the battery has blasted.

Whoa!!! I could not understand. I went there again and saw what had happened. I could not believe my eyes. How did I survive. The battery cover was broken in pieces. Distill water (mild acid) of the battery had spread all over there. 12 battereies and 3 inverters were there. Electricity junction was there. God, I survived from a horrible accident. Can’t believe!! God must be with me at that moment. Gurudev’s blessings must have with me in the form of rosery.

We must believe God is with us. There must be HIS existence all around us.

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http://www.arham.org

one more hoax email

Received one more hoax email today. Why do people believe in this kind of chain emails in today’s high tech world!!! You are using email which itself is a sign of an educated person and still believing in such kind of chain emails!!

A simple search on internet gave me so many results mentioning it is a fake. Here is link to google search for this.

Here is what received today

Sub: Please do it - Microsoft Paying you - Not Fake

Dear Friends,

Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. If you ignore this you will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test..
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $241.00. Within two week! s, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a cheque.

Rain lashes Mumbai

Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving presentation, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals.
This man was supposed to die in a short time and he was knowing the same, still, see his attitude while giving this lecture.
Doctor gave him 3 months and he lived around 3 years after that.

This guy has born to win for sure

Look at this MUST SEE video. We must thank God for giving us every part of our body and we should learn from this guy about how to live on this earth and how to win each and every challenge we face in our life. "NEVER SAY NO"

Love and Marriage

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage.

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nice Information on Jai Jinendra found on net

Jay Jinendra

Jay Jinendra means "Praise to the Jinas*."
Just like we say, "Hi!!" or , "Hello!!" or, "Namaste", when we meet others, we should also greet them by saying, "Jai-Jinendra". This helps us in a lot of ways. We are honoring the virtuous**. It also tells others that you are Jain.
Every morning and before you go to bed, you should say, "Jai-Jinendra", with respect to your parents, sisters, brothers, and grandparents. You should say, "Jai-Jinendra", with respect to your guests. You should also say, "Jai-Jinendra", to your teachers, other students at Jain Pathshala***, and other Jains who you may see at the Jain Center or any other place. When you talk on the telephone greet your friends with "Jai Jinendra". In the picture, the boy is saying "Jai Jinendra" to his parents.
Remember always greet others by saying "Jai-Jinendra".
* someone who does not have any anger, ego, deceit and greed
** those who have freed themselves from the cycle of birth and death
 
Jai Jinendra
Jai Jinendra, Jai Jinendra
Jai Jinendra, Jai Jinendra
A simple way to greet,
Every time you meet!
 Jai Jinendra on the  telephone,
Jai Jinendra even at home,
Jai Jinendra in school
Jai Jinendra to everyone.
 
   Jains are followers of Jin. Jin means "the conqueror" - Conqueror of karma and passions. Jineshwar is the one for whom Indra and other deities have special devotion.
    Jineshwar is the destroyer of inner enemies like anger, pride, deception and greed. Hence he is known as "Arihant".
    Jineshwar is free from attachment and aversion. Hence he is known as "Vitarag".
    Jineshwar is the founder of four-fold tirth (Sangh) hence he is known as "Tirthankar". Fourfold Sangh includes Sadhu, Sadhvi, Shravak and Shravika.

http://www.arham.org

Why we shout when we are angry?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger?

Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

 

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

 

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint.

'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice?

Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

 

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

 

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot.

To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other.

The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why?

Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens?

They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love.

Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all.

That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

 

 

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other

remote blog post

I was wondering how to post to the blog remotely. Searched google and found the way to do the same using different software available as freeware as well as paid. Was an easy task though, have to enable remote blog post from the wordpress admin.

 

I was about to start posting and a colleague of mine informed me I can do from microsoft word as well. Now this was a news for me. I was googling something and the same was with me.

 

Found the way >> in file there is an option called “Publish”. You can then select blog as the destination and enter your admin details. The simplest method to blog.

SAD WALLMART STORY

This is hoax. Nothing true in it. Initially the email chain started in the year 2003 on the name of AOL and then myspace and now it is yahoo which is tracking J interesting huh?

Well, I would like everyone not to forward this kind of chain emails. This is pure wastage of human hours and internet bandwidth. There is no truth in this email or story.

The story is not giving any detail about the person, the place where it exactly happened, the date when it happened… no details. And why should yahoo or aol or myspace wait till it reaches to the specific number of forwards to help someone? If it reaches to 10 person allowing them to deduct $20 assuming the total need was of $25, they won’t help for the rest $5 and allow the kid to die? No ways!!! This is all foolishness and I don’t understand how educated people, as we are using internet – we are educated, can believe in such kind of stories.

DO NOT DELETE!!!!! YAHOO IS TRACKING THIS!!!!!!!! !!

A sister and her brother were inside a new Wal-Mart. The sister was eight years of age and the brother seventeen years of age. The brother was trying to buy a present for his little sister because her birthday was coming up. As they were about to leave, she had to go to the bathroom. Her brother showed her where the rest rooms were and he began looking at earrings he thought she might like for her birthday.

As he started to buy the earrings, he saw people running from the end of the store screaming and yelling with fear. In the next moment he smelled smoke and saw flames. He ran to his little sister as fast as he could but when he got to the bathrooms the fire was already blazing. He knew he had to leave to make sure help was coming... When the fire trucks arrived it was already too late.

They assured the family that there were no survivors. Two days later the family got a call from the hospital. They told them that they had someone there by the name of Sandy . They asked, 'How did you get this number?' The hospital replied that the little girl had a purse clutched in her little hand with a card that gave her name and number on it. The family drove to the hospital to see their little angel.

While they thanked God for her survival, they noticed her arms were burnt so severely they were both amputated and her face was burned and she needed surgery. The family didn't have any health insurance and very little money to cover the bill. This family needs our HELP!

NOTE: Every time someone forwards this story, YAHOO will donate $2.00 towards the hospital bill.

DO NOT DELETE! YAHOO IS TRACKING THIS!

Please forward this as 'Sad Wal-Mart Story'. God knows who you are.

Karma knows it could happen to you

$2.00 off the hospital bill, that is a lot for two seconds of your time'. God knows who you are.

Just launched

Just launched http://www.arham.org. An organization, dedicated towards humanity.

 

 

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With Regards,

 

Yatin Shah

Twitter - @arhamyuvagroup

http://www.arham.org

 

 

The old Carpenter

The old Carpenter

 

Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and choices today! 

 

This is a story of an elderly carpenter who had been working for a contractor for many many  years. He had built many beautiful houses but now as he was getting old, he wanted to retire and lead a leisurely life with his family. So, he goes to the contractor and tells him about his plan of retiring. The contractor feels sad at the prospect of losing a good worker but agrees to the plan because the carpenter had indeed become too fragile for the tough building work. But as a last request, he asks the old carpenter to construct just one last house.

The old man agrees and starts working but his heart was not in his work any more. He had lost the motivation towards work. So, he resorted to shoddy workmanship and constructed the house half-heartedly. After the house was built, the contractor handed over the front door keys to the carpenter and said, This is your new house. My gift to you. The carpenter was shocked and upset. Had he known that he was building his own house, he would have done a better job! Now, he would have to live in the house, which is not worth staying.

 

Think of yourself as the carpenter. You work hard every day but are you giving your best? We put our least to the work we don't like or do not have interest in. Later, we get shocked at the situation we have created for ourselves and try to figure out why we didn't do it differently.

Enjoy your tasks and carry on your responsibilities with pleasure and not with pain. Life is a do-it-yourself project. Do your job enthusiastically and with devotion, a positive output and a pleasing life will certainly be on your way.